Sunday, October 9, 2011

WHY we BUY?





Though only a year old this month since joining you in the Doll community online I started by selling my entire NRFB Barbie collection to try out the 16 inch girls my hope was to afford just ONE Sybarite.  Then I had hoped in my researching online and doll boards what line to concentrate on.  Deva, Avante Guards, Dollfie, Jamieshow, Tonner etc. It was overwhelming. Plus I was so excited to finally end last year following a fluke mess-up on my part the year prior to join the Integrity W Club. So I won't lie when I learned the AG were absent this year and had no idea what direction to go.

  I had always coveted or dreamed of owning a Sybarite flipping thru the pages of Haute Doll years prior.  So my goal was to own just one plus on a fixed income it was not possible to just buy a new Sybarite or FBR as they were offered.  So this time last year SAGE was up on Ebay in my price range and my hope was to own a Sybarite by my birthday on Halloween. The Seller OKCJimbo you may know of him as we became fast friends and having never seen or held an actual sybarite.  It was fate when Jim put Sage up on Ebay and come to find out he lived just 15 minutes away.

  Try to imagine in your lifetime be it a toy, car, vacation etc. you always dreamed of and thinking it would never come to fruition and you settle on "maybe someday".  In my case it was images torn from magazines in my craft room next to Madonna and Lady GaGa images.

(btw I am a gay Middle aged Madonna Wannabe Superdoll Monster man. LOL)

  Going to Jim's home and walking back to a ROOM an ENTIRE ROOM for his collection of Sybarites was an out of body experience.  All beautifully dressed and styled to perfection in dark custom made display cabinets lit with LED lights.  A solid piece of glass covering the fronts with the option of having 3 glass shelves for 12 inch or 1 glass shelf for two 16 inch dolls etc.

  If I recall at the time he had 19? with Inque and Sage up for sale on Ebay. As if it were just yesterday remember my fear asking him to hold this doll from which I had coveted for years  It was Inque with whom I held first. The weight, the details, the joints, basically The DOLL was a revelation.  Now it is unfair for me to speak only of the Sybarites for this was my dream to own and I am obviously being bias, but having no experience with conventions, custom doll shops, or any doll taller than 12 and bought at Toys R US I hope you reading this can understand where I am coming from.

The last thing I want to start is a "my doll is better than your doll debate" as this story is coming from a sincere place and writing it or feeling the need to share it with you was inspired by Terri Gold's post and excitement of "Taking the Leap" into the Sybarites. Over the last year within our community have come to know many and some individuals are very well established and known for OOAK's, Blogs, and retailers.  So not knowing Terri on a personal level I reached out asking about photography giving me early advice and I also bought items from her.  PLus her blog...well need I say more.

Without going off into another direction I had just emailed Terri not more than a month ago basically sharing with her at how I support her reviews on her blog even though I didn't always agree with them. I figure if someone gives opinions it's okay to challenge them with the notion to be civil and "agree to disagree".  Her review of a few dolls early this year after I had bought them really bummed me out.  But again you say tomato I say tomatoe.

 Wanting to let her know though her reviews can be rough to read in the long run she had been right on all counts on those dolls she had reviewed.  I am sure Terri doesn't take pride in being right if anything she along with others are powerful voice for the consumer by speaking up and giving us honest information.  What we do with that information is up to us.

Okay with that said reading her Blog daily and now writing this email to her also was curious to know why she didn't review Sybarites?  Her response was quick and to the point "they were too expensive". Then coming upon her last week post on taking the plunge into Sybarite territory buying Talc my first thought was I wanted to know what changed.  I must say what Lady L said and what I have seen and heard rumblings of quality with certain 12 inch lines made me wonder if this is becoming a trend and not just hype.

  Terri even joked at how some told her they are addictive but she says impossible.  Deep down reading between the lines I think even she knows nothing is impossible.  Happy for her new adoption and journey into a world of dolls more than less of us have come to enjoy.

Listen I was happy to own a vintage Barbie which at the time was my most expensive piece.  But I didn't play with her she was showcased.  So when my selling off Barbie collection allotted me to own not one but soon thereafter two then three Sybarites I was not only amazed, excited, and at one point wanted to be pinched to be sure I wasn't dreaming.

  Well by Easter of this year my Collection sold out and I was still spending as if I was still bringing in those funds. Looking back to last Halloween  with Sage in Hand just like Terri G is holding Talc thinks just ONE. I am living almost on the street (exaggeration) Sybarite owner.

The dolls themselves take hold and looking into those Sybarite Eyes and we all can agree certain dolls speak to us and for me the eyes have it. However unlike any other love of something which takes over into obsession along with other issues in ones life can create a perfect storm which no joking around leads to addiction. 

Why the Sybarites are able to take over and have the hypnotic quality which basically burns into your brain MORE....MORE....I need my SISTERS...MORE seems insane, but we are adult doll people so anything is possible. Then there is the whole issue of my Sybarites can only wear FBR etc.

  By the middle of May and I had acquired more Sybarite and FBR fashion and accessories which I had not opened, touched, played with, or really enjoyed. Was it the high of being a closet shopper? Maybe it was the risk taking as my personality seems to enjoy from time to time. Then asked if I was collecting and not "using" as I once did with NRFB Barbies for Investments? 

Whatever the reason I knew I needed an intervention or advice so who better to go to than OKCJimbo, the one person who sold me Sage in the first place plus as our friendship got closer he gave me three of those cabinets I spoke of earlier.
  He knew I was struggling with taking the girls out and playing with them and maybe giving me those display cabinets, which BTW is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me would stimulate my COS play. So having no excuses I had to make sense of it all.

 Not only had I bought the dolls but was also collecting the W Club and Integrity lines, charged a Canon T2I Rebel at Best buy, bought every possible item, tool, and supplies to Sew, Sculpt, Paint, Photograph, or craft anything I wanted for my dolls.

  By now you must think this guy is crazy. Well maybe Stir Crazy as I mentioned I am on a Fixed income SSDI living with AIDS and nursing a partner of 28 years with whom is literally going into liver failure as I type this.  A CAT Scan and Biopsy will be a reality exactly 24 hours from now. Noon central time.  But I digress.....

  Not looking for sympathy, an argument or debate.   Life is up and down. Example: My 20's were charmed with a love for Dance performing all over the United states. But year 2000 till this past March walking was impossible.  A total hip replacement did the trick and the other side is due next year. So when my creativity in Dance and self expression was taken away I focused on my love for all things DOLL.  I have shared parts of this story and my youth growing up Strict Catholic Boys don't play with Dolls.  For me it was HAIR!!!  I just wanted to brush the dolls hair.

 Later in life I became a licensed hair traffic controller/beauty school girl.  Makeup, Fashion, Style, Vogue, Modeling, all under the guise of Self Expression.  You younger readers know GaGa as your leader, for me Madonna is queen, others older Cher, Barbara, Liza, and Judy are Gay Icons.

  But I have come to meet so many of you and most are ladies who do dolls instead of lunch. Meeting in person someday is my latest goal or dream for my future.  After 9/11 my fear of flying came to a head and refuse to board a plane.  I will take the train now and then to see my siblings in Texas.  The worse part is my parents live in of all places LAS VEGAS.  I tried to go to IFDC this year but the hip thing got in the way.  There is a method to my madness and this all plays part in my journey and funny as it may sound "RECOVERY" from Sybarite Addiction.

 To say you are going to spend yourself into a frenzy or bankruptcy may not happen but some of us know and have fought temptation, needs, wants, and have to have issues. It is easy to say Quality over Quantity rules when collecting anything.  Or the rule of when a new doll comes in one must go out.  Can you honestly admit to yourself you follow those rules?  If you are one of these rare individuals...I commend you.  Learning early on jealousy and envy are two very unhealthy feelings or deadly sins.

  I had to go the extreme of unplugging from the web an addiction I conquered and because of it was able to get a hold of my Spending Doll Addiction.  My partner last month actually took off our IPhone the eBay app. lol

  Okay so there are no secrets when dealing with me. Sharing life's lessons with others who come across one of these Tales from Thom it goes without saying if it helps or shows you are not alone than my pain, frustration, fears, addictions and getting to a place where control, joy, and making a new friend than it all was not in vain.

  Ending on a Doll Collectors High note...My Sybarite, JamieShow, FR,Avante Guards, and Innoqui's play is at an all time high.  Truly enjoying every aspect of loving dolls.  Be it attempting a hard cap wig, following a pattern from FDQ to sew, and my favorite Photography sharing and getting just one comment truly means the world to me.  Mel-lo-dramatic a bit, TMI- maybe, Doll Community...PRICELESS.

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